This week was a really good week. I cam back refreshed and ready to go from the weekend and grateful to be back at work. I rocked my outfit on Monday and walked cpnfidently through the office having let go of any expectations of boys paying attention and just got down to business. The result: the cute boys were extra friendly and flirtatious. What?! The less energy I put in to impressing them and drawing them in, the more they come around. What is this?
I am learning to balance putting my pharemones out there while simultaneously moving on with living my life.
Monday out of the blue, my buddy Mark sticks his head in my office and asks,
"When we went to Zuckerberg, you said you were thinking about grad school, are you still thinking about it?"
"eh...uh...(I am in the middle of a phone call and hotel negotiation-they are on hold)...uh, can I talk to you later?"
"It's a simple yes or no question"
"eh...uh... can I come talk to you later and give you the update?"
"Well, what's the update?"
Totally flustered a this point because my boss is listening to the whole conversation.
Mark smiles, laughs, and finally leaves.

Through the wall, my boss comments
"Wow, it's hard when you are asked tough questions in front of your boss."
Wow is right. Holy Cow. Totally caught off guard. The cat was let out of the bag and my hands were totally tied-well, my tongue was totally tied. I have only been thinking about grad school, so I haven't brought it up to my boss at all at this point. Well... thanks for blowing that out of the water.

Monday I signed up for the Hobble Creek Half-Marathon with Bonnie, Adam, and Joe! Wahoo! This was one of my New Year's goals, to run a half-marathon. This week I am making a training schedule. Can't wait. Okay, I can.
Monday after work, Bonnie and I went for a run along the canal. Beautiful run, except the most uncomfortable run of my life. About 3/4 mile in, I suddenly need to go to the bathroom, the kind that I would NEED toilet paper for. It was urgent and uncomfortable, talk about pelvic floor strengthening. Oh boy, it was funny to laugh about with Bonnie, but only for 5 seconds, then it just hurt and all I could do was keep running. We made it back to the car and after driving for a couple minutes, the sensation subsided and I was just fine.

Anyway...a little TMI, but I will want to look back at my blog and remember priceless moments like this.

Monday night I went to a late night Yoga class that absolutely burned my muscles off my bones. When I got home I went and started chatting with Bonnie on her bed in a dark room, we recapped the day and just kept chatting. She graciously instructed me on sex 101-505. It was more comfortable in the dark so she couldn't see how often I blushed. Thank you Bonnie.
Afterwards, we were both hungry for a snack. mmmm... crackers with cottage cheese. Whent he cottage cheese was gone, we ate almost a whole block of cream cheese (with crackers and salsa)...oopsy. It was delish, especially at 12:30 am.

Tuesday evening after work I went to the Mexican Market and bought some Horchata mix in preparation for our "Quatro de Mayo" powerstand at workie the next day. Then I met up with my dear friend Raven Alard at Magleby's for dinner. We had their steak smothered in mushroom sauce and their chicken pesto pasta, mmm... and their breadsticks....mmm...
We waddled out of there and drove around to continue our fantastic conversation. She is a girl after my own heart, very confident, doing amazing things with her life, and loving all of it. Except she has an extra spicy bite to her that I just love! It's the edge of confidence in the face of not knowing what to do that I am working on acquiring and that I admire so much in my friends that already have it-like Raven. What a gem! It was a great evening, and she translated the Horchata instructions for me since I don't ablo espanol.

Wednesday I pulled out my yellow dress and prepared eagerly for our Powerstand meeting. I mixed up the Horchata and set out the Jarritos and Chipotle did the rest. It was a fantastic Fiesta! My boss also presented the vision and mission of the company which was awesome. I love where I work and who I work with. It is a tremendous blessing to love going to work each day.

I work with people like Shan, the kind with style just oozing out of their ears. This is me channeling Shan... we showed up and found we both got the memo for white blazers and black skinnies. I just need some rockin' red pumps to finish it off.

Cinco de Mayo, I pulled out my black Spanish scarf with fringe and wore it over my black skinnies with my red lacey pumps, it was rockin! I got a "Whoa!" and then all the heads turned. Thursday, the Operations Team was born, so they threw a baby shower in honor of the birth. Here is the Operations Team-the coolest team ever!

See what I mean?! This is them at their best.

Bonnie.

They even had someone bring them a gift from their registry. We had nerf gun wars the rest of the day. Pretty great.

Also on Thursday, Dave Litchford came and gave his "Attitude Determines Altitude" presentation during lunch. Oh My! I forgot how hilarious he is. He was a total smash hit!

Friday was the most glorious day at work. Wow, I found a fantastic groove and was incredibly productive. MMM...Yeah!

Friday night, Body Logic performed at the Riverwoods in the gazebo. We found out the night before that it was cobblestone that we were dancing on, so we picked some other dances and revised them to accommodate. Wea re putting in our time dancing on 'crappy' stages. The whole experience was... an experience, fun because of the spontaneity aspect and great to dance outside. Kari Jo was sick for the last run of the concert (we did it 3 times), so I did my solo, impromptu. Thank you for muscle memory because my brain was in serious freak out mode. I got through it confidently and gracefully and it was fun besides.

We celebrated afterwards at Happy Sumo! Talked about our next show and made plans.

Friday night, KaLee (Bonnie's bestie in Idaho) and her friend Tiffany were in town, so we chatted and hung out with them til way past my bedtime, I was fightin' to stay awake.

Saturday we went to Kneaders for breakfast, cinnamon french toast, can't beat it.

After we said our good-byes I headed to Tunex, my home away from home it feels like. I have been here more Saturdays than not in the last few months and each time it costs me $150-$250. Not happy. This time it was going to be $600 repair-the last piece to fix on the exhaust system. Thank goodness it was not urgent, so I can prepare for this. I left in frustration and drove straight to the Subaru dealership to see about trading in my car. I drove a brand new Subaru Forrester and then an Outback.

Surprisingly, as I sat in the seat in the middle of luxury-it didn't even matter. It doesn't matter what kind of car I drive, and it's certainly not worth being tied to the amount of debt I would acquire owning this piece of fancy metal and parts.

I left and called my voice of reason, Carlton, my personal financial advisor. He calmed me down and pointed out that $600 now that will buy me a couple more years in my current car is much better than thousands of debt.

Yes. I agreed.

After I cooled off and realized that I was okay, I headed over to choreograph a 3rd grade dance festival piece to "The Monkees" theme song with Allie in my ward.

Funnest time ever and if Blogger would let me upload it, I would be so happy.

Sunday I went and checked out another singles ward. First time ever 'ward hopping', still not a fan. But for the sake of increasing the amount of people to meet, it worked. I ran in to Braun Edwards, an elementary--jr high--high school mate. Fun to see him and that he has turned out really well-no romantic interest. Thank you.

Sunday afternoon I crashed for a much needed nap, then went to wish my mother the best on her Mother's Day.

My sister Christina was there with her baby Jonathan Charles-first Mother's Day as a mother-so precsh. And baby JC is so cute-looks just like his daddy.

He loves his Aunt Mere.

Maiden, Mother, and Matriarch

And this is Bob, finishing up the potatoes on Sunday evening. The best thing in the world, makes me smile everytime.

Hello all. anyone and everyone who reads this. Thank you for reading my blog. The purpose of this is mainly a journal for my own records since my memory is not one of my super fortes. I am reminded of this every time I go to compose a new post for the week and I can't even remember what happened that week. So it's good to take a moment and recount for the last week or two of my life, to see, evaluate, and account for the personal growth and learning.

Last Monday morning I cut my finger open. I was cutting an apple for my breakfast ready to walk out the door and my finger was under the apple when I was cutting it. When it stopped bleeding, the flesh was curdling out of the opening, it was a deep cut and kind of gross and cool at the same time. Bonnie looked at it and suggested stitches. What!? I grew up with the hospital and stitches being reserved for when your brain was sticking out of your head, we just didn't get stitches-ever! I called my mom and as typical "just put some gauze and a band-aid on it and let it heal". So that's what I did. It was a little embarrassing to text my boss that morning to let him know I will be in late to work due to the fact that I just cut my finger open. When I got to work my coworker Joe showed me his scar on his left pinky finger in the same spot where I cut mine. "Ah (gasp), we are going to have matching scars!" he exclaimed. Yes, Joe and I became blood siblings in that moment. Our conversation eased the pain from a slightly humiliating morning and a big ouchie. Who knew it would hurt so bad to cut your finger open? I didn't. So I had a big white gauze bandage on my finger for the week and now it is healing great.

Last weekend (Easter weekend) on Friday night we had a multi-ward talent show. I did my dance solo that I did for our Body Logic concert and it was really fun. The most stress-free performance I think I have ever had. The whole evening was fun. I ended up sitting by this super funny guy, so we were going back and forth commenting on the talents. I practiced my flirting skills, so it made the night fun. One of the Emcees was wearing a red flannel shirt with rainbow suspenders and boots, so at one point he commented that he only had 1 talent and the guy next to me leans over and whispers, "that flannel shirt".

"Yeah, that flannel shirt gets me every time" I whispered back through my laugh. It was hysterical and a lot of fun.

One act though, I even took pics of this one and will steal it for our next family reunion-so sisters take note..

3 girls and 1 guy (the guy I was sitting by) did a 'Grecian Urns' act that was out of this world hilarious. The guy posed in a 'Grecian Urn' pose and each of the 3 ladies had a pitcher of water. Periodically through out their skit, they drank water and spewed it-in different patterns according to the choreography. Too funny!

Afterwards, a group of us went and got frozen yogurt and watched the Star Trek movie, much to my resistance. I liked it more than I thought, but on a scale of 1-10, it was a 3.6. Not a fan of Star Trek.

Saturday morning I went and ran a 5K with my ward-first time running 3 miles outside in a long time. It was kind of the kick start to running outside, so I was determined to run the whole way and I made it! I got my iPod all synced up before and ran to Journey's Greatest Hits blasting in my ears "...Don't Stop. Believin"...

Saturday afternoon I went up to Ogden to hang out with Mags for her birthday. I took her some red tulips and cupcakes. She wanted to go the tulip festival for her birthday, so I brought the tulip festival to her. And these cupcakes. So Bonnie told me about this Vintage Cupcake Company in Ogden who make gourmet fantastic cupcakes, so I picked some up and we enjoyed them the whole weekend. So Yummy! Cookies and Cream, Coconut cake with coconut icing, Red Velvet, Double Chocolate, Carrot, etc. SO Yummy!

Sunday I went to church with Mags and to Bird and Nee's for Easter Dinner with Bonnie's family. Her whole family was there and it was a lot of fun! We visited, had yummy yummy food, and played Dance Dance on the Wii. Super fun. Then I took the Myers-Briggs Personality test. Bonnie's Dad, Russ, is certified in the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, so he can administer the personality test and give results and the whole deal. So I took the test before I left and he was going to score it and give it back to me on Thursday when he was coming to do a presentation for One on One about personality type.

This last week, I was motivated and ran 3 miles on Monday and Wednesday. Outside. I found a loop route right by my condo that I like-well, first one. I am still getting used to running outside, but running under the sun is the best. Being outside is invigorating and after a stressful work day on Wednesday, it was a great release and unraveling time to just run under the sun. Thank you for the sun and my body that can run.

Wednesday we had some VIP visitors were here for the quarterly board meeting that day. I thought I was prepared, but it ended up being a stressful, borderline frazzled day. There was just last minute copies to be made and stapled, wi-fi passwords to figure out, spoon for the fruit to run and get, gift bags to pack, etc. Then just being on the edge of my seat to take care of anything anyone might need-like printing and faxing a t-shirt request form for one of the visitors or calling a cab at the last minute, you know, things like that.

I was exhausted, but everything went well.

Then Thursday I somehow planned another stressful day where again I thought I was prepared, but it ended up not being as smooth as I planned. We had a new catering company for lunch that was doing a salad bar and bread. I imagined this great salad bar with lots of vegetables, boiled eggs, chicken, a variety of dressings, and some beautiful bread platters with a variety of breads, etc. Right? That's what I asked for. Well, they showed up late with loads of lettuce and spinach-good and healthy-but we ran out of all the toppings 2/3 way through everyone and the bread ended up being cheap-o rolls from Wal-mart that were carelessly dumped into platter toppers. So I am evaluating and digesting this while planning for Russ's presentation at noon as well. The food being late pushed back the presentation, so it created some confusion, waiting, and me running back and forth putting out the lunch fire while calmly setting up for the lunch presentation. It all turned out okay and I am cooling off this weekend before I call the caterer on Monday and tell him how it went. He called me during the presentation with a light-hearted "so how did it go?"

"um, we are in the middle of a presentation, can I call you back?" I was fuming.

Russ's presentation went really well and our team members liked it. Afterwards he gave me my test, according to Myers-Briggs I am an ENFJ(P) I think I am more P than J on most occasions.

Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging, (Perceiving)

ENFJs are interpersonally focused, understanding, tolerant, appreciative, and facilitators of good communication. They enjoy working with others on a variety of tasks focused on the development of people.

ENFPs are enthusiastic, insightful, innovative, versatile, and tireless in pursuit of new possibilities. They enjoy working on teams to bring about change related to making things better for people.

My family will laugh, listen to the "potential pitfalls" and "suggestions for development"

• May move on to new ideas or projects without completing those already started (hello AP english book list)
• May overextend and try to do too much (I am the queen of double booking engagements)
• May sweep problems under the rug when in conflict (yes. I am getting better at not doing this though)
• May need to set priorities and then follow through
• May need to learn to screen tasks and say "no" rather than do what is initially appealing
• May need to apply project and time management skills to meet goals (hello time management :))

Enter Bonnie Bennion, an ISTJ, the perfect complement to me, Ha! We have had many good laughs about this. But that is why living with her is a dream, she is great at everything I am not naturally good at. However, the good news is that we are rubbing off on each other and both balancing out.

So my dear family, I am doing my best to manage my time well and speak up in conflict, but you got to know that I just wan't wired that way. :)

Thursday afternoon after blowing some steam off at lunch with Nee and Bird and Bonnie at JCW's, Ernst and Young came to film my boss, he is up for Entrepreneur of the Year, kind of a big deal. The corporate communications gal handled all of this, so I was actually relieved to answer some emails and take care of some projects. I knew the lady from last year, so we chatted on a tour of the office and I got to sit in on my boss's interview, which he totally rocked. It was fun, and really good to get more insight on the company and my boss as a person. As we just read about, I am all about that-people.

I really want my boss to take the Myers-Briggs test, I have a feeling that we are really similar and it is advantageous and disadvantageous. I will work on it.

Thursday evening I met my mom at Costco and shopped for Pete's Prom dinner that she was making. I got some pizza for dinner and we got to chat for a little bit. My mom's undivided attention, always a treat. As we caught up, I realized that I am learning how to balance pursuing dating and marriage as an overarching goal of mine at the same time that I live my life fully and move forward. I am getting better, but I would feel stuck whenever I spent my energy trying to date and be successful-something just wasn't working. So then I would go back to getting really involved with my job and someone would remind me to always be looking for my man. It would go back and forth like a pendulum, so now I am creating balance with that. Hooray! It's about time.

That conversation was so timely and I had a follow-up breakthrough on Friday talking to my friend Ingrid at the Inner Woman training that we were staffing this weekend up at the Impact Training center. I have been having this feeling that I will find my husband when I am in full bloom in my life and I am not there yet. She listened and affirmed me, then she looked me in the eyes and said "you don't know what you want yet". Bingo. It's true, I am still clarifying exactly what I want and I don't know yet. All these guys that I go out with are awesome and kind of fit, but it's like a slightly misfit puzzle piece-it just doesn't work. I was so relieved. Because I know I am still blooming and now I feel full permission to bloom naturally and carry on with my beautiful life. Perfect.

This was my first staffing experience at Impact and it was great! The womens training was amazing, I went through it in 2007, so I had forgotten a lot of the details and it was fantastic to review. It was all about celebrating womanhood in every sense of the word, so naturally it brought up a lot of tender feelings for my mother, sisters, and gratitude to be a woman!

Friday night I worked on my Visiting Teaching report and tied myself up in knots because it was so last minute. I didn't visit my sisters this month, I did call and chat for a few minutes and dropped off some M&Ms and a note. Bare minimum, and it bugged me, enough that I evaluated my commitment and decided to be a 100% visiting teacher going forward.

Saturday morning I woke up and ran the Thanksgiving Point 5K-first official organized race! Katie, another girl ont he staff trained for the half-marathon, but there wasn't time to run it before the training, so she ran the 5K and I ran it with her. Except she took off at the beginning with a 9 minute mile and steadied a 10.5 minute mile, finishing in about 35 minutes. It was really cool and a beautiful route.

I quickly showered and changed then headed up for the second day of Inner Woman and it was Incredible! I staffed with my sister Margaret and it was so fun to be there with her celebrating being a woman and our sisterhood! I love my sisters so much.

Just Livin' the Dream

This week was a pretty typical week, low key which I appreciated to recover from the performance the weekend before. My boss was out of town, so I made some good headway on big projects I am involved in, particularly the company history project.

Okay, I am so excited about this project, I am working on writing (well coordinating) the One on One's company history! This kind of stuff lights my fire and gets my creativity flowing, however, this is big undertaking and I have no idea what I am doing. Good thing I am related to Curtis... my brother who knows everything and is a folklore specialist, so this sort of thing is like no big deal for him and he can give me some great direction. Perfect.

So I met with a guy down at BYU this week and got some good ideas on where to start, to look at other corporate history examples and start gathering One on One historical data to compile and include in the history. Love it. Can't wait.

On Thursday we kicked off our Jimmy Kick's Design contest at One on One, so Wednesday night I was shopping at Macey's for 20 boxes of Kix and Wheaties for breakfast for the company. I got some pretty great comments walking through the store. One was from my bishopric member and his wife.

"wow, what's all this", "oh and while I have you here, will you teach sunday school on Sunday?"

"I am already speaking in Sacrament Meeting, but I sure, I would be happy to. "

Then someone else asked me "are these on sale?" Because if they are, would that change if you were going or purchase some or not?

"no, no special sale, just a corporate breakfast..."

So Thursday we were in our design teams and had a lunch time challenge to guess pictures of feet that were taken of our coworkers. My feet were among them and Bonnie told me later that in her group someone asked, "who's beat up feet are those?"

Bonnie: "Oh, I know exactly who'e beat up feet those are."

Ha!

Thursday night was the ABD: the Aaron and Brittany Dinner, where the Ashton family would officially meet Aaron's fiance Brittany. I was the self-appointed event coordinator and took my job very seriously :). I even set a dinner time-unheard of for our family. We had a turkey dinner with all the fixings, heard the engagement story, and just enjoyed the night chatting and catching up. Brittany is a total 10 and a 17 for Aaron-perfect fit. She is awesome, and the real deal. She thought he was cute when he spoke in sacrament meeting, and cuter when a giraffe slobbered all over him, and even cuter when he announced that he had 18 siblings, WHAT!? is this girl for real? Yes, she is. A dream come true. To say the least.

Great event, everyone had fun and it was great to get together. We don't get together very much anymore, so I savor these times. Bonnie came too and enjoyed the time with my family, that meant a lot to me, because a lot of people may get weirded out-there is plenty that is out of the ordinary. It was great!

Friday night, Bonnie and I went over and chatted with her good friend Mimi and her husband Mike. They live in the next building over and just great people. We came home and I took a candlelit luxurious bubble bath and we started "You've Got Mail" the movie, but I quickly fell asleep.

Saturday morning I went to breakfast at Magleby's Fresh for all you can eat pancakes and french toast (their syrup, mmmm...). I went with Bonnie, Adam, Sarah and Kevin (Bonnie's sis and bro in law). I went so I could meet Quinn, Adam's 5 yr old daughter, I have been so excited to meet her. And she was everything and more of what I anticipated, immediate affinity. She is darling and so much fun! It made me realize that I would be open to marrying someone who had children already. oop, did I say that out loud? Hmmm, just a thought. Anyway, breakfast was fun and I went to the temple after that, it was really good to go, I haven't been for a while. I came home to prepare my talk and lesson. As soon as I sat down my eyes started to close and I realized that this was not going to be a productive prep time, so I laid down for an hour powernap and got up 3.5 hours later. Sigh. That felt SO good, it's what I needed. Saturday night I babysat Ellis and Hugh, so darling and so much fun! They had a checklist for me for the evening !:) Love them!

And today, Sunday, the lesson was....underprepared. I was 2/3 of the way through my lesson when I looked at the clock and saw 20 minutes left, Yikes! The end felt a little drawn out and people were not in to commenting today. Oh well, I did my best. It tuned out alright.

And my talk, I was worried about filling the time because I actually was left with a lot of time as the last speaker. I was writing my talk during the sacrament, well just beefing it up not knowing the time I would have. I ended up cutting out some stuff and spoke for about 15 min. It went great, I really like speaking in church. I talked about simplifying :), in connection with Elder Scott's talk about faith and character from October's conference. The essence: the most important thing I can be doing with my time and energy is building my relationship with Christ, everything else, and I mean EVERYTHING else is secondary to that. Wow, studying quotes that back up that statement was pretty powerful and reminded me to stay on track with getting out of debt and preparing financially for the future, in addition to building my lifestyle to be prepared for home and family. Hooray, I am on track and it feels good. Sigh, so no pedicure for Mere even though it was payday. :) Good job Mere.

April Happenings-Fool's Day, Performing, and just life.

The morning of April 1st, Bonnie and I got a text from Joe Partridge (our coworker and good friend) exclaiming that his baby came that morning, and no april fools. Honest.

My reply: Do you swear on everything that is holy that this is for real? (because he would totally pull that on us)

Joe Pa: I swear on the love I have for my wife. Room number 1008, visitor key code is...

AAAAHHHHH!!!! Baby Jaden Partridge is here!!

So Bonnie and I went during lunch to meet Baby Jaden and introduce ourselves as his favorite surrogate aunties. :) He is so cute.

He loves us.

Joe Pa, Shauntell, and Baby Jaden (Jay Pa)

Bonnie and I had an April Fool's of our own. I suggested that she wear her old wedding ring to work and announce her engagement to this Adam guy that she has been dating.

She is in the perfect set up, people know she has been dating a guy and it could logically happen.

It was hilarious, we got some people, most people were skeptical, and some saw right through it.

It was General Conference weekend, so lots of gathering at the folks house with all the kiddos. Lucy was loving holding baby Jonathan

And Annabel is growing up so fast. I tried to convince Stu and Lisa to enter her in to a baby modeling contest. Hello, have you seen her face?

She gets so much love from her siblings, they just pick her up and pack her to wherever they are playing and wrestle with her, no big deal. She is a good sport.

And Buddy gets cuter the more I see him. Priceless smile, right here.

My neice Kate, in Washington, is getting baptized in May, actually there are 3 nieces getting baptized in May, July, and August, so my mom pulled out 'the baptism dress'. This dress has been in the family for years, all us sisters, cousins, nieces, etc have worn it, so lots of sentimental value.

My mom has been collecting dolls, well she has been collecting dolls all her life, but she has been seriously working on her collection these last few weeks. We pulled them out and the kids had a ball with them.

oooohhhh, baby Jonathan. He loves me. He looks totally like Sean. And this is me after my final rehearsal for the Body Logic Show-this upcoming week is concert week!

We celebrated Bob's birthday on Saturday night after the priesthood session.

I love my Bobby!

He is the greatest! :)

Sunday morning I went to General Conference with Graden and Bonnie and Adam. The Music and the Spoken Word was fantastic and the session was incredible, of course. The theme of that session was blaringly about welfare and preparing to live the law of consecration so we can take care of each other. It reaffirmed to me the most important thing I am doing right now is getting out of debt and preparing financially to be in a position to give back and consecrate my life to the building of the Kingdom. Perfect, I am on track.

I hung out at Graden's house for the second session of general conference on Sunday and it was SO interesting. Lots of different feelings. It was great to get to know his family, meet his friend Tyrell, and see his brother Jamen again. Jamen, Graden, and I were all in the BYU 56th ward Fall 2010. Graden was my Home Teacher and has remained my home teacher for life. He will call and check in every once in a while. He's great!

Max.

My mom in her 'natural habitat'. :)

She has always said that her place in the kingdom is in the nursery.

She loves children and always has, she has devoted her life to her children and it is inspiring.

Sunday night, my aunt Laneth (mom's sister, can you tell :)) and uncle Jim stopped by for a visit, they were in town for General Conference.

Okay, my aunt Laneth is hilarious and I know that, but this visit was the funnest conversation I have ever had with her. She was telling us about her calling as ward music chair and pianist-she has no real musical talents, but participates in choir as a faithful member of the ward. So she accepts the calling and the musical numbers she arranged went off, but underneath she is just laughing to herself. It is way better when she tells it because she embellishes it just at the right moments to to get us rolling. Holy Cow!

The dolls.

Okay, so this week I took care of my car with the utmost TLC. The check engine light was on and I responded immediately (good job Mere) to find that it desperately needed new spark plugs, but the O2 sensor was okay....who knew there was an O2 sensor. I am learning more about cars every day. But everything else looked good. Hooray, I am not driving a lemon!

So after I got it looked at I scheduled a detailing appointment for the upcoming week.

Side note: my friend Jordan from work drove me to pick up my car after work one day (Bonnie was headed up to hang out with Adam :)) and he showed me his sweatshirt for his quesadilla business, "Paco's". Super great guy with this quesadilla business, it is brilliant, and it cracks me up when I think about it....anyway...

So here is my car, spic and span. One thing I love in this world is fancy car wash places. They shampooed the carpets, washed all the vinyl, waxed the outside, cleaned the tires, the whole works! It was beautiful, I hardly wanted to drive it. And it was raining that day, so I ended up parking it in the parking garage at work for the night so it could totally dry.

Before I got in to drive it out of the garage, I indoctrinated it with the O's... Go One on One!!

It's official.

You can see the vacuum lines and my happy smiling face :).

I love clean cars! The splurge was worth it.

The next day I had the vinyl doctor come and do a couple repairs on the inside vinyl. It looked great when he was done, can't even tell there was a big burn hole on the back door handle and a huge rip on the dashboard. And who knew there was a vinyl doctor-pretty specific niche, he was great!

So my car is as good as new and loves me, a lot!!

This week was my concert!! Body Logic Dance premiered their first show!! We performed up at the Sugar Space in Salt Lake on APril 8th and 9th, 2011. So every night this week I was either polishing up my solo with Laura, shopping for my costume, or teching and lighting our dances, or performing. It was really fun, and very empowering to say "We did it!!" This is what professional dance is all about. It was really good to see that and ask myself "do I really love this? Does this really interest me?" Hmmm... always introspective, some good thinking about my life this week.

Mom, Dad, Jules, Mags, Nate, Bonnie and Adam came to support on Friday night. Nate graciously videoed and took pictures of our show as our official camera man.

Very intimate performing space, Margaret said the audience could easily hear us breathing and see the sweat flying off our faces. Kind of gross, I know.

But it all went really well, it was nostalgic to perform again and like I said, kind of empowering. I also realized that I don't think I would be totally satisfied as a full-time dancer, but I know that I love the field of dance and see myself continually connected to it throughout my life, after all, I am a professional dancer! It feels really good to say that and at the same time, it's really not as glamorous as I dreamed, it's full of hard work. Ha ha, just like every other worthwhile thing. Good job Mere. :)

So after the concert on Friday, I went and hung out with Mag and Nate at Jules' house. I just slept in my clothes I was so tired. Then Saturday, I just hung out at Jules' house with Simon, Joanna, and Tabi. It was different to not have a commitment on Saturday morning-so nice. For the past 6 months, we have been rehearsing for this concert on Saturday mornings from 8-1. So it was a treat. My alarm still went off at 6 am and scared Jules in the middle of the night. I didn't hear it, of course.

We watched 7 Brides for 7 Brothers, ate pizza, took naps, and played-it was a GREAT day!

It was really great to bond with the kiddos, over the past while, I have felt an extra draw to spend time with my family, just hinging out and spending time with them and their kids. I think I am in a place where I am not so consumed in my own life to be able to reach out and give and that feels good. And I am feeling good about continually connecting with my family members and strengthening those relationships. What? I am strengthening Home and Family? Perfect. The bonus is that it is really fun. I really like my family members and I am falling in love with my nieces and nephews more each time we hang out.

And eat graham crackers together, as the case may be with me and Tabi...

UV50 Gala

One on One was named 4th in top revenue and 2nd in fastest growing companies in Utah Valley by Utah Valley Business, here are pics from the UV50 Gala. I pulled out my black and gold for the event, I am a total girlie girl when it comes to events like this, they make me smile really big.

CARS: All's well that ends well...

This week was car mania...the season finale if this was a soap opera.

Last weekend Dad, Curt and I attempted to track down the title for the white Subaru, who knew there was all this title, bill of sale, taxes, etc involved in selling a car... well now I do.

Anyway, thankfully Curt had a duplicate title, so I went over Tuesday night and got it all filled out, then Wednesday I did the deed. I sold my car, just like that, we exchanged the title and Tunex cut me a check for $1000 and that was it. Now for the emotional part, I went and cleaned out my car and said one last good-bye to Georgie. Or Faith as Curt informed me was her original name... I was kind of sad to say good-bye. Lots of good memories in that car and some ownership, rite-of-passage type of attachment...But as Bonnie advised, "you can't get too emotionally attached..." I know, but still, that was my car...

I loved my Georgie car.

So sad to say good-bye.

So the car saga continues... along with selling my car this week , I also...

• got a speeding ticket (first one in about 2 years, I was on a really good streak. Dang-it!)
• scratched my boss's car...yikes. I took it out to clean it and on my way back in to the parking garage, I turned a bit too sharply and scraped and dented the side of it. Shoot. I will post a pic tomorrow. He was good about it, but I felt really bad... as you can imagine.
• looked at alternative transportation options... I got pretty creative thinking of possibilities involving a bus, bike, jog-11miles to work-mmmm probably not, borrowing a car as needed. Could i get by without a car? Or even just wing it? I mean, I could get a bike. Bonnie's question with that one was "what happens when it's raining or snowing out and you have to go to work?" Good point. Shoot. The conclusion I came to after all this brainstorming was that I really just need a car. My lifestyle is way too independent to go without a car. Shoot. I am going to have to bite the bullet and buy a car. Which I really didn't want to do as I am committed to paying off my student loans this year and just really want to put all my extra cash toward that.

I am sure Mom and Dad were laughing every time I called them up with a new solution. Well, I went over on Saturday to talk with them about cars. The agreement was that we were going to talk cars at the end of this week and they were going to tell me what they decided to do.

As I talked through the options and expressed my "at my wit's end" scenario, I told them I finally went to the bank to see about taking out a loan to buy a car and ended with a big sigh.

They smiled and looked at me somewhat excited.

What? I asked.

"We have a way better deal for you..." Mom said.

Dad did the honors of offering me the option of purchasing their other Subaru-the green seafoam one.

Wow. Really?

What a relief!

So I will be able to keep up my car payments with them, pay off my student loans, and pay off this car within the year.

Sigh.

Thank you so much!

So this is the new set of wheels...no name yet.

After that, I was off to the ballet with Mei Mei. An M&M date if you will. :) We went and saw Utah Regional Ballet's production of Peter Pan at the Covey Center in Provo. Very Well done, a really fun ballet with flying, a crocodile, hilarious pirates, great choreography, and fantastic dancing.

We ran in to Brenda and Becca Winegar-kind of legendary people in the disabilities community in Utah Valley. It was great to connect with her, that is the first time I have personally met or spoken with either of them, even though I have grown up knowing who they are and the tremendous influence for good they are in this community. And all that I have heard about them did not compare to my experience talking with them. They are truly amazing individuals. I was so impressed with how highly Brenda (mom) talked about Becca (daughter with Downs Syndrome), she praised her with the utmost respect and awe, like she was a good friend and inspiration-which she is that to her, but people don't often talk about their kids like that. It was definitely a lesson for me about how I will speak about my kids to other people. It felt like more of an equal partnership/relationship rather than a domestic hierarchy. Sounds weird to say but I see that some parent/kid relationships are about who is right/wrong and others are about the partnership of helping each other learn and grow in positive ways. Hmm... a tidbit to put in my back pocket until further notice... :)

So here is Mei Mei and I at Peter Pan. We had a grand time!

Love my Mei Mei

Other things that happened this week...

We had a "Salsabration" FHE on Monday with a cluster of wards. I saw Blake there, the guy in our ward that I was interested in and he liked Bonnie and it was really awkward for a time... Yeah him. Anyway, it's been a while since we've seen each other and the steam from the awkward get togethers has blown over, so it was so nice to talk with him and feel like all of that stuff just melted away... thank you. Ah, peace at last. I don't like to have icky stuff in my relationships-the kind of unresolved stuff that lingers and festers. So it was really good to clear the air and mend my relationship with him.

Also, Monday after work I ran outside... this monumental. I can run for miles on a tredmill, but I am apprehensive and flat out resistant to running outside. I have a mental block about running outside. Bonnie and I ran about 2 miles, just down PG Blvd and back to our condo. And it felt good! I mean I survived and it wasn't that bad...

Half-marathon here I come. That is one of my 2011 goals-run a half marathon. I am shooting for August.

This week I worked on my solo with Laura up at the UofU a couple of days. Afterwards I stopped by to visit my sister Jules. It was fun to reconnect with her, it has been a while. She is amazing, getting ready for baby #4.

Anyway with the solo rehearsals, Laura and I got a lot done and I showed it at our rehearsal on Saturday. Angie, one of our dance professors came to our rehearsal and gave feedback. We talked about my solo and our chat reminded me why I love dance so much and engaging in the creative process. All the steps are there for my dance, but it is missing the magical performance quality. Discovering the missing element and what I am saying through this piece propelled me in to a bit of self-discovery to find the answers. That is what I love most about dance and the creative process-it's a journey of the self that refines and builds character like nothing else.

Here is what I learned on this particular journey with this specific piece, and it is exactly in line what I have been thinking about recently...

Angie remarked that this piece is about me being a 'good dancer' and showcasing my technical abilities, I don't really say anything significant, the audience is only 4 minutes older after seeing the piece-not really any different, moved or inspired by a unique message.

Shoot. I want it to be so much more. But I am concerned about being a "good dancer", it goes back to me wanting to keep up a "perfect image" of myself and especially as a dancer. I do want people to see and affirm that I am a good dancer.

But I also want to communicate something inspiring through my solo, I want to make my statement... but I don't know exactly what I am saying...

Angie's advice "you have to be vulnerable. Trust that your technique is there and go for it. If you don't quite make the balance, but you went for it-that is human. That is what we relate to as an audience. That is the magic."

So the challenge for me is letting go of that perfection image and dance who I am at this moment, the authentic, real me. Wow, I have been thinking about that lately and finding myself wanting to be something I am not. But it doesn't work to be anything but me.

Sometimes I wonder if I have the "fire" to be a successful dance artist and I get anxious about it, and I feel that anxiety is reflected in my solo.

Angie's response to this was, "then dance who you are right now and what it is. If you are anxious and nervous about it, then dance that. Be honest about where you are. You gotta dance who you are and what it is right now."

I held back the tears, but if I would have let them, I would have been wet all day. This breakthrough and insight is what I have been looking for and I love how dance facilitates these small self-discoveries. I feel closer to my goal of going Home. And interestingly enough, the title of my piece is "coming home". Remembering who I am and being honest about that as I dance. That is the challenge, but I am up for it.

After rehearsal I raced down to UVU for the Ballroom Dance Concert with my friend Mariah who got married in November. I asked her about married life and she confessed that it was one of the hardest experiences of her life. Just a lot to adjust and get used to. Good stuff, but nonetheless challenging.

After the ballroom concert I crashed for a nap before going to the ballet with Mei. On my way to go pick up Mei, Aaron called. I missed it, so when I called him back he put it on speaker phone so both he and Brittany could talk to me.

I casually asked "so, what's up?"

"Have you seen Pa's cows?" Brittany asked.

WHAT!?! Mouth wide open...............................

Really? Aaron engaged?

Wow, congratulations! I am so happy for both of them. And Brittany sounds like a super fantastic girl. Can't wait to meet her when they come out in a couple of weeks.

I waited for the "my younger brother is getting married" blues to settle in, but they never came. No anxiety about it, just happiness.

I do have to tell you though. Mom had a dream on Friday night about me and I was with the cutest, most darling boy with dark curly hair. We were so happy together and it was so easy to be around him. And he was tall. Anyway, I know the timing for me will happen at the perfect time. Not worried.

However, this was at the end of the week. Ask me about men on Wednesday and I would have thrown my hands up in the air with utter disgust. I had lunch with a guy on Wednesday-so not impressed. Just talked about superficial things the whole time and I saw a lot of his insecurities come out. I left the conversation sick to my stomach and wanting to take a shower to wash off all the slime.

It's good, I know more of what I DON'T want.

I just want a male version of Bonnie, that would be perfect!

Friday I went to hear Mark Zuckerberg, founder of Facebook, speak at an information technology forum at BYU.

It was interesting and some personal notes I had on it were...

Find what you are passionate about

The more connections we create, the stronger we are, in business and personal life

It was really good, he was very candid and open, it was fun to hear him speak. Orrin Hatch-the one delivering the questions-however, was not. He was kind of a drag.

Anyway, fun event. It was snowing when we got out and I wore some ballet flats, so no traction and I was honestly worried about slipping. I carpooled with 2 guys from work, how convenient. I took one of the guy's arms and he graciously escorted me to the car. Both of them opened my door for me on the whole excursion and I was so impressed. I haven't been treated like that for a long time, it was nice to feel like a lady and be treated like one.

I was seriously so impressed, especially because it was a work event. One of the guys was married and one was single. But the fact that I was a lady, trumped the situation, no romantic nonsense, just good old-fashioned chivalry. Love it.

So it all ended well and I am happily sitting here blogging on a leisurely Sunday evening after teaching Sunday School today about Priesthood Keys. The lesson went way better than I anticipated, I did not feel super prepared. Thank you to the spirit and angels that were routing for me. I learned a lot, as always.

The experience teaching boosted my confidence and it felt really good. I love teaching, I volunteered for today and for permanent "if you need someone to teach, call me" status.

It made me think about grad school, well career in general, I know I will end up teaching in whatever I do.

A high end classical Ballet teacher in New York City? Possibly. That would be a dream.